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Confessions of a 1x Programmer

Shantnu Tiwari

• 2 min read

Hey Everyone! I'm Shantnu, and I'm a 1x Programmer.

  • I've been programming in Python for 10+ years, and yet I still forget how to use basic things like dictionaries and have to Google for it
  • Every time I open a file in Python, I have to Google what the parameters to the open function are.
  • I install everything in the global Python and don't always use a virtual environment. Life is short, take a few risks is my motto.
  • I don't write tests for my personal projects
  • I've been trying to learn Javascript for years. I'm talking 4-5 years. Each time, I quit as I get bored and don't know what to do with it.
  • I also tried learning React / Vue. Made even less progress.  I do know there is come outrage in React over classes (?) and why you don't need to use them( I think?)
  • CSS scares me more than dragons. I did 2 courses on CSS and loved it. But when I tried to make my own site, it looked like drunk vomit. I spent 5 weeks trying to make my site pretty but couldn't even get the items aligned. I cried in the toilet and went back to WordPress (and now, Ghost).
  • I can't do any whiteboarding. I can't even spell binary sort, let alone tell you how to implement it. Yes, I tried reading about all these algorithms. Booorrriiing.
  • I also tried learning about Design Patterns, Big O notation multiple times. But it still makes no sense to me (or I got bored and quit– see Javascript above).
  • I'm not from a computer science background– and find many of these concepts confusing. Yeah, I've read all the books everyone keeps recommending. I still don't understand 80% of it.
  • My current site runs on Ghost, not a K8 cluster running on Aws with load balancers. I don't even know what a load balancer is, I always thought (think?) it's one of those things they use to weigh your luggage at airports. If I'm wrong, please correct me at I-Don't-Care at gmail dot com
Pictured: Load Balancer running on Google Cloud Kubernetes buzzword buzzword buzzword
  • I tried learning Rust, then thought: Why am I doing this to myself? I am a child of God(and if you don't believe in God, replace with Spongebob Squarepants), no child of God(Spongebob Squarepants) shall suffer like this; God(Spongebob Squarepants)) loves all his children, even those who can't code in Rust (Book of Shantnu, Page 97, DragonBall Z Edition).

That's all for now. I'll add more shit I suck at as I come up with it.

Note to self: Should this be filed under funny or career advice?

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